does childe lie to himself?
originally documented in conversations 04.06.24 + last chunk from doc
i remembered mid‐chat earlier that he says [in a profile voiceline i think] 'i myself joined the fatui
to gain more experience in combat' [this may be a paraphrase but if its direct i wouldnt be surprised :3] .
and this is blatantly Not True.
but my thought is.... to what level does he realise this ? does he know he's lying ?
has he convinced himself that's what happened ? or does he truly believe that's how it played out?
Or is he aware of what really happened, and he's lying of his own accord ? but why would he do that ? pride ?
i also thought about how he has no one to trust. like..at all
it's underlined time and time again that he lies to teucer about who he is/what his job is, so does that imply
that the rest of his family know ? i think tonia knows, since he sends her letters, but i can't remember if he
explicitly mentions anything in said letters. he's definitely mentioned the tsaritsa in one before though, so i
suppose she knows??
anyway, even if the rest of his family know, he can't really open up to his younger siblings, or at least i dont
think he'd want to
we know nothing of his older siblings, and its probably be hard to open up to his parents. again, if he even wanted to
and his family are the only people he really holds close. i think if i posted this online or smth, people would said
'oh he can confide in the traveller' yeah but can he ???? would he ??? i think the relationship between childe and the
traveller is overestimated a lot
they're made out to be buddies, which the game itself plays into, and i'm not saying they're not, since childe himself
says they're friends post‐golden‐house‐fight. but when the traveller finds out lyney and lynette are fatui, they hold this
grudge for a while, and whenever they see childe post‐liyue, theyre happy to see him ! like he's an old buddy ! which again,
he is, but i think it helps people forget what he really is. which is a member of the fatui at the shallowest.
i know what others don’t, i know that he has more going on behind those eyes than he makes it seem [because i don’t fall for
the goofball act like most idiots], so i want to give him the benefit of the doubt and say he is that aware, & he lies outwardly
for whatever reason and keeps the truth hidden away, but the arle line makes me think.
the quote isn’t to say he’s a fool in any regard, but it makes me wonder if he really is in denial about things.