watched hannibal [17.12.23]

originally documented in discord

mback to watching hannibal and will gives childe sometimes w the nightmares & feeling like he has to keep working w jack cos hes 'saving lives'

assuming its possible to actually quit being a harbinger if you really want, do you think he'd continue so he can support his family with the mora, as well as having an outlet for the violence where he's in a position of power & so defendable, and not just some guy causing a ruckus

ppl on twitter believe he doesnt wanna be a harbinger at heart cos he says to the traveller that he'd quit his job and join them but to me it feels more like a friendly lighthearted thing . i might be wrong but i think he says 'if i could' which i think is more 'if it wouldnt turn my life upside down' rather than just not being allowed to quit

and will having the nightmares makes me think of how childe's only shown consequence of everything postabyss is being a bit spooked by the narwhal . though i think its part shock part recognition . same beast he saw years ago type beat

but yeah i think that his whole bravado & being around family [incl. traveller in this] probably balances out the effects of the abyss . being alone probably weighs heavy on him & he ice fishes alone 'to meditate' but whos to say what actually goes on there

itd be really hard to show in game though . is traveller at this level of trust . also it'd weaken him in the eyes of the fanbase & most of them dont actually give a fuck so . idk i can imagine like a journal or smth when we go to snezhnaya but aside from that its up to me i suppose