so you wanna know more, huh ???
here's where i pretend anyone has ever asked me anything. well, bar a few people in r/w. thank you guys
do i know you ?
probably not. i don't have any internet presence of note, unless you were in the wattpad smut game in 2019. that's the only successful thing i've ever done.
how do you label yourself ?
meh.
i'm not a fan of 'yume' or 'selfshipper', since those are stereotypically more casual and even jokey at times.
i tend to call myself a waifuist, but even that doesn't always feel right. it's hard to explain.
what's your deal with fiction ?
well i'm autistic B]
but seriously, i've had several fictional partners over the past 20 years !!
there's definitely an element of escapism, especially when i was younger, but nowadays it's just something that happens !
i don't pick my partners, as you'll hear a lot in the waifuism community. for me, it's about unexpectedly falling in love with
someone from probably-whatever-im-obsessed-with-at-that-time, rather than seeking a partner.
it's also such a Real thing for me. it's not just an interest in a character, or even thinking that they'd be a cool choice
to imagine a relationship with... i'm fully in love with them, as much as i would be with a real person. more on this next...
you...do know they're not real, right ?
yes. all too well, if you ask me.
while i know that my beloveds will never have a physical body that i can interact with or that other people can engage with,
i do believe that the level of devotion and effort i sink into my partner gives them an existence, if you will. i'm the only one
who can feel it in any way though.
while i don't really believe in the multiverse theory, i do experience things like..coincidences that occur
way too often or too strongly to be coincidences... the things that
ye olde snapewives were known for basically. i would say i understand that i'm just being delusional, but that would
ruin my fun !!
can i find stuff online for your past lovers ?
if you're the weirdest guy ever & you wanna dig through my years worth of retweets or tumblr posts, then you're in luck.
otherwise, no. anything i've made for my exes, shall we say, has either been lost to time, or isn't suitable to be shared anymore.
what's your stance on people who share your partner ?
i'm going to fucking kill you. also known as instant block and your mere existence will drive me crazy for at least a few days.
also for the record, no one shares my partner. someone may feel something for the same characters that i do, but it's not
the same at all. i am the only person truly in love with my partner, and i don't care how that makes me sound.
i assume this is due to ego & being entirely crazy, but i don't really get jealous, per se ?? it's more like...why do you think you could ever be me...?
are you ready to stop being vague as always & talk about childe now ?
i hate you.
but yes. enough about me, i want to talk about my boyfriend now !!!
how did you two meet ?
i've gone into this on my neocity shrine, but it was very gradual. or at least i didn't realise what was happening until
it was too late :]
the first update after i started playing in september 2021 was Quite childe-centric, which is a fact i absolutely adore. i like to
believe it was fate >3....
i also unlocked him as playable during this update, so he's been through the vast majority of
my genshin playtime with me. that's probably around 3000 hours at this point B]
i was in denial for about a year of our relationship, partly because i hadn't had such a popular partner before,
and partly because i was afraid of
anticipatory grief & basically screwing over the guy beforehand...
i'm unsure if i'll ever be fully open about being so deeply in love with ajax [the waifuist experience tbh], but
i'm trying REALLY HARD !!! i want to give him everything he deserves >33
what does he mean to you ? why him ?
PUKE ON KEYBOARD TIME !!! this is actually pretty intelligible i'm proud :D
it's hard to answer 'why childe' since it just feels so natural for me to love him, but i will give it the ol' college try B]
we're more similar than i first thought, i know that much. this 'world of facades' that he has, as i like to put it, is something
that i'm all too familiar with [MASKING MENTION!]. we both have to pretend to be things we're not, and i love that
we're two souls who can find home in each other.
saying this, however, i need to mention that we are polar opposites in a lot of areas. [opposites attract after all....>3]
he's this extroverted adrenaline junkie with all these big life goals and motivations, and i couldn't be more different.
he does motivate me to do things however, even simple things like standing up for myself, and i like that... :3
something else that's interesting about us is how i'm pretty much incapable of reading between the lines, so he confuses the
HELL out of me. it's probably due to genshin's crappy eng dialogue, but i do lose what he's saying some of the time..
though, realistically i'm probably just gazing at him too hard [4.6 quest experience....] >333
not having all his lore & being bombarded with fanon and speculation definitely doesn't help,
but i know that i understand him more than i think i do, so i take pride in that.
just realised i didn't explain what he means to me...so...
one of my favourite things about our relationship, and one of the many reasons i know it's real, is how heavy my chest gets
when i think about him... it's not every time, probably only a couple times a week, but i always have such a tangible & physical
reaction to him... ohhh he drives me crazy >33
aside from being one of the only things in the world to make me feel such full-body emotions, i simply just love having someone
in my head !! and someone with SOOO much lore !! he's so eatable i could write google doc after google doc of unintelligble
nonsense... he's like..my first partner who's been this damn interesting... ouhhh.....
what songs remind you of him ?
oHHHH DONT START ME ON MUSIC !!!! [note..i'm gonna change the songs here at some point but for now they are his official
in-game music and two songs i think apply to him canonically >3]
the ones i've put in both this jukebox and my original shrine's jukebox are obviously highlights, but here are some others :]
good morning by 'go! child' [go HUH ???] is a classic.. i listened to it on loop one night in jan 2023 and thought about ajax
for hours and i remember going to bed and being crazy fucking loopy ohhh memories...
okay hear me out this is where shit gets weird. next song is inbred by ethel cain.
if you have spoken to me for longer than 10 minutes, you know i'm deranged and obsessed with ethel cain. she is nuts and i am
nuts and there's just something about her music...
anyway yes. inbred goes crazy and i don't wanna hear SHIT about the lyrics. 'TOUCH ME TIL I VOMIT' ??????? i fear this is something
only me and ajax will ever understand.. and yes i am the bitch that takes fucked-up meaningful songs and makes them about anime
boy. what are you gonna do man.
luke hemmings released his album 'boy' today, and i've been listening to i'm still your boy All Day and i'm losing it. not
only is it applicable to childe through his canon lore and not being the kid he used to be but still being his parents' son,
but he's my boy too !!!! >3333 this is also where the 'i want it so bad i want it so bad' comes from..hghhh stomach starts bubbling...
this went on for so long. my bad. i don't regret it.
i'm evil, prove your love to me.
sighhh if you so insist.... <:]
I HAVE !! AS OF 26TH APRIL 2024 !! almost 6000 images in my phone gallery [i have not sorted them but its majority childe you gotta
believe me], around 460 videos, a growing collection of charms, the damn giant narwhal in my bed [i am awaiting big tartaglia cat plush...
tarcatlia...], 2 pinterest boards with about 600 images combined, more dumb little things than i can count,
and my promise ring..my favourite item in the universe... >3
if you could, what would you say to him ?
...thank you ajax. you make me whole, and i love you more than words could ever hope to cover.